JULY 21 - SECRET IDENTITY
There's no good way to say "Hey, this memory you're emotionally attached to that probably changed the trajectory of your life is nonexistent for me. I know I was technically there with you but could you fill me in?"
It makes me feel incredibly awkward. Even worse, it makes me feel like a bad friend. It leaves me with this feeling of being alienated in my own life, my own skin, my own mind and memories. I often feel like I'm intruding on my own life. I am my own imposter.
I guess I'm just not sure what to make of it. I have my own private thoughts on the matter but they feel too personal to share just yet. Maybe one day it'll feel safe enough for me to unmask.
JULY 20 - MIDNIGHT THOUGHTS
Plus it's something I've been wanting to set up and do for a while. I don't know why but the idea of a literal online journal is very appealing to me. I don't know, something about coding it by hand feels like binding my own book.
Coding is something that's been scratching my autistic brain recently. I have soooo many ideas bouncing around in my head for webpages I want to make. I have to remember that everything takes time.
Anyways, I'm excited to explore and learn more about these kinds of things. Who knows? Maybe someone will actually read these, maybe even after I'm long gone. It's kinda cool to think about, isn't it? Like a digital sarcophogas or a time capsule.
What would you leave behind?